Gravedigger

Gladys goes downstairs and aggressively taps on her husband’s shoulder. Her husband’s name is Hank.

“You gotta go upstairs and talk to that boy,” she says.

“What’s the little jackass done now?” Hank asks.

“Why, I left him alone for two minutes and he done cut off his balls and glued them to his forehead.”

“For Christ’s sake,” Hanks says. “Let me get my pants on.”

He puts his pants on and heads for the stairs. Gladys calls out from behind him. “And remember to call him Snake or he won’t answer ya!”

Hank gets upstairs and opens the door to the boy’s room. The boy, “Snake,” lies on the bed, wistfully staring out the window, his balls glistening on his forehead. Hank snaps. He rushes over to the bed and begins shaking the boy.

“You listen here,” he says. “If you think you can get away with murder just ‘cause you got them damn leg braces, then you got another thing comin. Get them balls off your head.”

“I can’t,” Snake says.

“Well you better find a way.”

“You try it. They’re glued.”

Hank angrily reaches out and clutches one of the testicles in his fingers. The thing won’t come loose. It just squishes there between his fingers.

“That does it,” Hank says.

He yanks Snake off the bed and throws him to the floor, the boy’s leg braces clattering.

“Get your pants down. I’m givin you the spankin you deserve.”

The boy moans pathetically and frantically tries to crawl to his bathroom.

Gladys comes into the room before Hank has a chance to spank Snake.

“Hank! You cut that out!” she yells.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he says. He kneels by the bed and begins to pray.

Snake makes it into the bathroom. He finds a razor and slashes at his wrists. The blood courses out and Snake discovers that he can now walk without the aid of the braces. With blood-covered hands, he removes the braces and tosses them into the bathtub. He throws open the door to his bedroom and charges across the room, launching himself through the glass in his window. He plummets to the ground outside. His parents call the ambulance but a hearse shows up instead. Which is appropriate because Snake is dead. He lies in a crumpled heap on the front lawn. A huge man gets out of the hearse.

The man is a gravedigger.

He takes an enormous shovel from the back of the hearse and proceeds to dig a hole in the front yard. Once the hole is deep enough, he nudges Snake into it with his foot.

Snake’s parents stand on the front lawn, crying as the gravedigger finishes filling in the grave. After tamping down the dirt, the gravedigger tips his hat to Snake’s parents and gets back into his car.

Hank and Gladys go back inside the house to begin anew.